From Fabulous to Fearful and Back Again

Reflect back to when you were a young child.  For me life seemed to flow.  It felt magical.  I followed my heart and did what I felt like in every moment.  Sing at the top of my voice. Dance freely in the lounge room. Draw beautiful pictures.  Paint works of art. Play with the fairies. Search for hidden treasure in the garden.  Laugh loudly when I was happy.  Cry when I was sad.  I loved the wonder of life as each day brought something new and exciting.  Anything was possible.  I didn’t concern myself with success or failure. I just played and created.  Perhaps you have similar memories.

Each of us comes into the world as a perfect being, filled with infinite joy, beauty, creativity, playfulness and imagination.  We don’t for one minute stop to question our beauty, intellect or abilities.  Even those unfortunate enough to be born with disabilities are often not aware of their differences or potential short-comings as a small child.  As young children we just ‘be’, living in the moment.  We see only beauty and possibility in life.  We are creative, capable and connected to the divine spark of life.  What a fabulous state of being!

Then life happens…

As we start to interact with the world slowly our connection to our heart starts to fade.  For some, this may start to happen sooner.  For others later.  It inevitably happens to most of us.  We learn that certain behaviours elicit certain responses from those around us and soon we start to make the shift from following our hearts to being driven by ego in order to win the attention or approval of others.

By the time we reach school age we are usually well on our way to conforming with the expectations of others. Often this may be well-meaning parents, siblings and teachers who believe that they know best. …but they are taking us further away from our truth.

We encounter the ups and downs of life from the birth of siblings, to the divorce of parents, to school yard bullies and bad teachers. We experience humiliation. We experience pain and suffering. We experience failure.

We are told that we must go to school, get good grades to get into university, go to university, get good grades to get a good job, get a good job, work hard to increase our career status and earnings, buy a house, get married, start a family, save for retirement…

Before we know it we’re through the first couple of decades of our life and we have long forgotten what it feels like to follow our heart.  We don’t even stop to reflect on whether this is the path we want to take. We’re too busy earning a living!

…and chances are we’ve well and truly made the shift from fabulous and free to fear-driven.

The little girl who loved to sing at the top of her voice, dance freely in the lounge room, draw beautiful pictures, paint works of art, play with the fairies and search for hidden treasure in the garden grew into a timid young woman who was too shy to speak her truth for fear of ridicule and embarrassment; felt ugly, frumpy and untrendy in her low-end variety store wardrobe (the only clothing her parents could afford); felt boring and dull next to her friends, believing that no guy would be interested in her and that she had nothing to offer anyone; felt ashamed of her body…

Driven by these self-perceptions created as a result of early life experiences, life unconsciously became about proving to my parents, myself and the world that I am worthy of love, intelligent, successful, stylish, attractive and perfect in every possible way!  So much pressure!!  The fabulous, free-spirited little girl connected to hear heart was long gone!!

I have learned that it’s not until we become conscious of these patterns that we unconsciously fall into and make the shift from unconscious living to living consciously from our heart that we can reconnect with our inner fabulousness we left behind in our childhood!!  Somewhere deep inside our heart is calling out to us.  By learning to recognise the sound of our heart and tuning in to its whisper we can start to transform our lives in fabulous ways.  We are empowered to shift from being driven by our fears, ego and outside world to being driven by our soul.  It is only then that we can truly live our best life, a life that is exclusively ours, aligned with our own unique values, passion and purpose.  As we tune into our heart we become to realise that there is nothing wrong with failure or imperfection; that they are essential tools for learning and growth.  With this realisation our fears lose their power and we move into ours.

This shift from fabulous to fear-driven and back again is a wonderful gift, which gives us a true appreciation of how amazing life can be when we live from our hearts!

This blog post was written by Gabrielle Aitken, inspirer of Appreciation, Respect and Love (a.k.a. Aprelo).

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