It is no surprise that parents influence their children in all kinds of ways, both in terms of the genes they pass on and the environment in which the child is raised. There is now more and more scientific evidence to suggest that it’s ‘nurture’ rather than ‘nature’ that has more influence over the future potential of our children.
For those of you who know me, you may well be wondering what authority I have to write about parenting when I myself, do not have any children! Well, to be frank, absolutely none! …but I’ve recently read an amazing and eye-opening book called The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles
Dr Lipton really is a remarkable man, a cell biologist who is pioneering a relatively new area of science called epigenetics. I have written a blog post about epigenetics before, citing Dr Lipton’s work. Dr Lipton has spent more that 25 years researching the behaviour of human cells. What his quarter century of research shows is that genetics may well account for way less than we thought and environment may well account for way more! In actual fact, using diseases as an example, Dr Lipton suggests that whilst there are undoubtedly diseases such as Huntington’s or cystic fibrosis that can be accounted for by a ‘faulty’ gene, such ‘single-gene disorders’ affect less than two percent of the population. To quote Dr Lipton, “the vast majority of people come into this world with genes that should enable them to live a happy and healthy life.” It’s what happens throughout our lifetime, ie the “complex interactions among multiple genes and multiple environmental factors”, that determines whether we contract many of the diseases, such as diabetes, cancer and heart disease, which are prevalent today.
Furthermore, Dr Lipton suggests that it’s not our physical lifestyle choices, such as diet and exercise, that have the biggest impact on the health of the cells within our bodies. These things are certainly important for healthy, happy living, however Dr Lipton’s research indicates that it is our belief system, in particular our unconscious belief system, that is one of the biggest environmental determinants of cellular health, much more so than the genes we were born with.
This has profound implications for both our own state of being, as well as what we pass on from one generation to the next. In The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles, Dr Lipton dedicates a whole chapter to what he terms ‘conscious parenting’. He suggests that one of the biggest gifts a parent can pass on to their child and one of the greatest determinants of a long and healthy life, is a healthy unconscious belief system. Dr Lipton indicates that a child’s unconscious belief system can be directly influenced by its parents’ state of being and interaction before, during and after his or her birth. By becoming more aware of our own beliefs and behaviours, we can make more conscious choices about the unconscious beliefs we pass on to our children!
Dr Lipton’s book also talks about how our beliefs can either create an environment of ‘growth’ or an environment of ‘protection’ within our bodies. Both serve their purpose in the body. However, he suggests that cells in the body cannot simultaneously exist in states of protection and growth; it’s either one or the other. So if our unconscious beliefs are predominantly negative, pessimistic or fear-based the cells of our body are more likely to be in ‘protection’ mode and therefore unable to grow to their full potential. Whereas, if our unconscious beliefs are predominantly positive, optimistic or love-based the cells of our body are more likely to be in ‘growth’ mode and empowered to reach their full potential, only shifting to protection mode when a real danger is present. Of course there are other lifestyle factors at play, which can influence the state of our cells, stress being one such example. If we are continually in a high-stress environment this too can force our cells into protection mode.
There are many other insightful pearls of wisdom that Dr Lipton covers, which I haven’t even touched on here so I highly recommend reading his book. The main message I wanted to share in this blog is that we have the potential to empower our children to reach their full potential by being conscious of the beliefs we impart on them, both through our own behaviour, as well as through conscious communication of healthy beliefs. Healthy beliefs are those that view the world as a safe, loving, positive place; those that create a sense of appreciation, respect and love (a.k.a. Aprelo) for the self and others. This is not to say that we shouldn’t make our children aware of very real dangers. However, the predominant message to give to our children, both through our actions and words, is that they are loved, worthy, cared for and safe; that they deserve to live to their full potential and have the ability to do so. It is with these kinds of beliefs that they are likely to thrive.
The best way that we can do this is to firstly, make sure that we ourselves have a healthy unconscious belief system, and secondly, be a conscious parent who is aware that our words and actions can directly impact the belief systems of our children and therefore, their future potential in life. So how does one know whether they have a healthy unconscious belief system you might ask?
Do you truly feel worthy of love? Do you feel that you deserve happiness? Do you believe that you’re a good person at heart? Do you feel safe and secure? Do you feel that no matter what happens in life, you will be okay? If you answered yes to these questions, then it’s a good indication that you have a healthy belief system. If you answered no to a number of them, that’s okay. Most of us have limiting beliefs that have accumulated through our childhood and the course of our lives. All it takes is a little inner beauty styling J. There are a number of techniques such as neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and others that can be used to change unconscious beliefs with relative ease.
Reflect on your own beliefs. Are they helping you grow to your full potential or are they holding you back? If you are a parent, what beliefs are you imparting on your children?
This blog post was written by Gabrielle Aitken, Inner Beauty Stylist and inspirer of Appreciation, Respect and Love (a.k.a. Aprelo).
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I love Bruce Lipton’s books. I met him in 2009. He is very down to earth and approachable.